Types of weddings
If in a family there is only one unmarried girl and no heir, the girl is married according to „okka parije’ by which the children of the marriage become members of their mother‟s natal family. The
man who marries her ceases to be a member of the wife‟s family. This arrangement is made so that the family should not become extinct. Further generations do not get married across these two okkas and the list of such okkas are in intermarriages between okkas
This marriage takes place only for the rights of the children. In the event of there being no male in a family, a daughter is maintained to represent the name of the family and a husband is procured for her. This husband does not become a member of her family as in „okka parije’ , nor does he become alienated from his own family but can take a wife for his own family thus raising the seed for both the families . The children of „Makka parije’ have rights of inheritance only in their mother‟s family. The husband need not stay permanently at the house of the „Makka parije’ wife but should visit her and help her in raising the required progeny to perpetuate the family. During his stay the wife is expected to provide him with food and clothing. This is known as “obbangala’. The wife should maintain herself and the husband will have no responsibility of providing for her. The husband will have no right over the properties of the wife.Further generations do not get married across these two okkas and the list of such okkas are in intermarriages between okkas
There are three varieties of Kudavali (living together) marriages viz ., the marriage of the widow with one of the brothers of the late husband, marriage of the widow with a man of a different family and marriage of a divorced woman. Usually „Kudavalis‟ are contacted due to the exigencies of the family,or of the children. These marriages are simple ceremonies and lack the pomp and gaiety of the Kannimangala‟. The widow can marry one of the brothers of the dead husband and continue in the same family or she can marry one of the cousin brothers of the deceased husband. According to this kind of marriage the groom will observe all the customs of a „Kannimangala‟ and will perform the „Muhurtha‟. For the bride this being the second marriage she will have no „Muhurtha‟, for according to the kodava custom a woman can have only one regular marriage whereas the man is entitled for more.
Kudavali with One outside the Family
If the widow intends to marry a person outside her conjugal family, first she has to sever her connection with it and return to her natal family. The custom of severing the connection is called
„Kallumara Kaipo‟. According to this the „Aruva’ of the bride‟s natal family with two of its members and the „Aruva’ of the late husband‟s family with at least one or two people not belonging to the family must be present at the function. The ritual is performed in the central hall of the house. The boxes and things which the widow brought at her marriage should be kept there. The presence of the widow is considered as not necessary.
Kudavali of a Divorcee
There is only a slight difference in this „Kudavali‟ specially in the custom of severing the connection to the late husband‟s family . But according to this custom it is not decent that she should contact another marriage before the lapse of at least six months.